A Boo-tiful Mind
Equal parts Shirley Temple and Larry the Cable Guy, 7-year-old beauty pageant contestant Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson brings her Southern-fried showmanship back to TLC on July 17 with the return of her hit reality show, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” Buzz around the premiere should get a boost from the release of her first book, How to Honey Boo Boo: The Complete Guide on How to Redneckognize the Honey Boo Boo in You—and while advance copies were not available at press time, tidbits of inspiration are readily available in what the world has heard from HBB so far. JULY 9
Live your life with gusto.
“I want the barbecue. And then I want the chicken. And then I want the ribs.”
Say what you think; do what you feel. “Etiquette classes are for stupid people.”
Ignore society’s notions of beauty. “Pretty comes in all different sizes and my size is … cute.”
Never limit your aspirations.
“I want to be a doctor, a nurse, a hair saloner, a makeup saloner, work at Walmart, work at Kmart, work at McDonald’s where I can eat all the chicken nuggets and work at a hotel so I can go swimming. And I wanna be a mama too!”
Embrace who you are.
“I’m a pageant queen and I’m a REDNECK, honey boo boo child!”
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“Without a word, they assembled, surrounding us. Their gaze was squinty and intense. … No more distractions. No more rushing this way to stab something or that way to burn something down. They were now a mature mob. In a way, I was proud of them.” —From The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure, the debut novel by “Deep Thoughts” humorist Jack Handey. July 16